An Exercise in Existentialism – “Hell is other people.” Chose a place of confinement, a group of people and an area of disagreement. In this piece the place is a car, the people are a family and the disagreement...?
“You should have turned right there. We’re going the wrong way now.”
“How was I supposed to do that? I was in the wrong lane.”
“I gave you plenty of warning. You should have realized you needed to be in the outside lane.”
“Have you seen the amount of traffic? There was no way I could have pulled over. Which way do we go now?”
She started to study the road atlas.
“Quickly! I need to know which way to go”
“Alright. I’m doing the best I can. There is a roundabout coming up in a while, but I’m not sure which exit we need”
There was a wail from the back seat. “We’re lost. I’m scared.”
“It’s alright Jack, we’re not lost, we just don’t know where we are.”
“That’s a bloody stupid answer. It means the same thing”
“No it doesn’t. And watch your language.” She turned her head. “Daddy went the wrong way, dear, but we’ll soon sort it out”
“And whose fault was it? I shouldn’t have let you navigate. Women can’t read maps.”
“Oh. You think you could do better?” She slammed the book shut and pushed it back into the side pocket. She sat back and folded her arms.
Another voice drifted through from the back seat. “I need a wee”
“You’ll have to wait. We can’t stop here”
“Can’t. I need to go now!”
“Hang on, Ben. I’ll find something.” She addressed the driver. “Did you pack the bottle?”
“I don’t remember. That’s your job. There’s probably something in the boot.”
“A lot of use that is. You just said we couldn’t stop. Hang on, I’ve got a plastic bag somewhere”
“Make sure it hasn’t got any holes in.”
“Ha, ha.” She twisted round in the seat and passed the bag back. She was sure she’d crick her neck and be in pain for days. “Do it in there. Be careful. Then give it back to me”
Jack had decided his little brother was getting too much attention. “I feel sick.” There were inaudible mutterings from the drivers seat.
“Well. It’s just as well we’ve got the bag out, isn’t it? Ben, pass the bag to your brother”
“I’m not being sick in there. It’s full of Ben’s wee. I want a sick bag”
“That is the sick bag. Use that or you’ll have to do it out the window. Pass me the bag”
“Shit. Where did that car came from?” The brakes were slammed on and the contents of the plastic bag sprayed across the inside of the car. There was silence as the smell circulated through the space.
“Open the windows.”
“I’ll put the air conditioning on. Now which way do I go at this next roundabout? ”
She got out the atlas, found the right page and studied it. “I think if you turn right; that’s the third exit. Try and get into the right hand lane.”
“All right. What a start to a holiday. You realise we’ll have to live with that smell for the next week?”
She nodded and felt the twinge in her neck.
“Are we nearly there yet?” came the chorus from the back seat.
“You should have turned right there. We’re going the wrong way now.”
“How was I supposed to do that? I was in the wrong lane.”
“I gave you plenty of warning. You should have realized you needed to be in the outside lane.”
“Have you seen the amount of traffic? There was no way I could have pulled over. Which way do we go now?”
She started to study the road atlas.
“Quickly! I need to know which way to go”
“Alright. I’m doing the best I can. There is a roundabout coming up in a while, but I’m not sure which exit we need”
There was a wail from the back seat. “We’re lost. I’m scared.”
“It’s alright Jack, we’re not lost, we just don’t know where we are.”
“That’s a bloody stupid answer. It means the same thing”
“No it doesn’t. And watch your language.” She turned her head. “Daddy went the wrong way, dear, but we’ll soon sort it out”
“And whose fault was it? I shouldn’t have let you navigate. Women can’t read maps.”
“Oh. You think you could do better?” She slammed the book shut and pushed it back into the side pocket. She sat back and folded her arms.
Another voice drifted through from the back seat. “I need a wee”
“You’ll have to wait. We can’t stop here”
“Can’t. I need to go now!”
“Hang on, Ben. I’ll find something.” She addressed the driver. “Did you pack the bottle?”
“I don’t remember. That’s your job. There’s probably something in the boot.”
“A lot of use that is. You just said we couldn’t stop. Hang on, I’ve got a plastic bag somewhere”
“Make sure it hasn’t got any holes in.”
“Ha, ha.” She twisted round in the seat and passed the bag back. She was sure she’d crick her neck and be in pain for days. “Do it in there. Be careful. Then give it back to me”
Jack had decided his little brother was getting too much attention. “I feel sick.” There were inaudible mutterings from the drivers seat.
“Well. It’s just as well we’ve got the bag out, isn’t it? Ben, pass the bag to your brother”
“I’m not being sick in there. It’s full of Ben’s wee. I want a sick bag”
“That is the sick bag. Use that or you’ll have to do it out the window. Pass me the bag”
“Shit. Where did that car came from?” The brakes were slammed on and the contents of the plastic bag sprayed across the inside of the car. There was silence as the smell circulated through the space.
“Open the windows.”
“I’ll put the air conditioning on. Now which way do I go at this next roundabout? ”
She got out the atlas, found the right page and studied it. “I think if you turn right; that’s the third exit. Try and get into the right hand lane.”
“All right. What a start to a holiday. You realise we’ll have to live with that smell for the next week?”
She nodded and felt the twinge in her neck.
“Are we nearly there yet?” came the chorus from the back seat.